Hand job in a pub (?)

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Prepare for a six pack

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A lot of misinformation is written about how to get abs. It is possible to get abs fast but requires a lot of dedication. You need a correct stomach architecture before you start doing any exercises because any crunch, leg raise, side raise, flag, you name it, will be so much less effective. Good stomach architecture is flat. The muscles of the stomach must all be able to be pulled in. If you have excessive fat around the stomach then that's ok as long as you prepare yourself first to really feel your stomach drawn in so it feels itself against your internal organs.

Proprioception (your own perception of where your body parts, muscles, organs, tendons, bones etc. are in relation to one another) is the real key. It takes time to develop body awareness and control it. A large part of your proprioception is cut off from you and you can get this back. It takes time to develop full awareness of it and for it to serve you well but you must master it first.

Fat people are fat and bloated and this is often overlooked. Bloatedness is a combination of air and waste in the intestine that has stagnated for a long time - far too long. Fat around an area of the body is often because that area is toxic or that area beneath is filled with huge muscles e.g. the glutes. A person developing a good six pack will definitely not have bloatedness and also food transit time from the mouth through to the anus will be a relatively short time. They will also relieve themselves in the bathroom up to 3 times a day and this is the signs of a healthy body. A long stool is a characteristic of a toxic liver and is the sign of an unhealthy body.

Gas in the gut is not a good sign and prevents the correct stomach architecture for a six pack. The stomach and intestines are a sealed system and you don't want stuff inside generating gas. This will lead to poor digestion and the wrong framework to develop a six pack. You need to debloat and that's a detox. It can be achieved in a number of ways, chiefly diet and increased water intake. You need to increase your fiber intake and this is best and most economical from frozen spinach and stalks of vegetables e.g. celery, rhubarb, whole broccoli, asparagus, swiss chard.

The major point is you must feel proprioception most of the time. Feel your stomach muscles against your internal organs and they in turn against the back of your body. The stomach muscles and nerves must feel the organs and intestine itself beneath them and the muscles must be controlled enough to be able to massage the intestine and the organs below. This is so important because by the stomach muscles massaging the internal organs, the organs are becoming more cleansed and you're detoxifying yourself even more. It's a win-win situation that if done correctly will really make you prepared to have a six pack.

The advanced yoga method of Nauli is proprioception in action. There's a bit of surface fat shown in the video and this can be resolved doing cardio that I'll put in a later post.

Our favourite muscles?

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As we scanned the "talent" in our local bar ... we had a thought that our favourite muscles must be the glutes. Nothing better than a great butt in jeans, especially when they cling just a little too tightly. Other great muscles (heart, pecs, abs and our true favourite ... the penis) are never quite as visible in day-to-day life. The glutes are great for so many reasons. First, they look "wow" (with and without clothes). Second, they're amazing to the touch, great in your hands and especially hot when you're inside your partner and your lower abs and thighs rubs against a perfect butt. Third, great glutes (and inside butt muscles) give you a sense of power when you're on the "bottom" (grinding and directing your partner to the secret g-spot). Fourth, the fact they're on (semi) display means the fantasy potential is just off the scale! Fifth, there's nothing better than a nice aching set of glutes after a good gym session or an even better fucking. It's a win-win all round.

The trials of DIY?

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Sometimes relationships are more difficult than we'd like to admit. Everyday remains "perfect" ... but not everday is "easy". Some days (or events) are sent to test us, how strong we are together and how much we love each other. DIY is definitely one of those events (or series of unfortunate events). I'm sure it's the same in relationships of all orientations. One being the DIY afficionado, the other being the DIY non-expert. As the non-expert, I've tried taking the helpful angle "is there anything I can do, saw, cut ... just tell me how to help and I'm there". I've also tried the supportive angle "can I get you a tea, coffee, make you something to eat ... my sweet". I've even tried looking busy, tidying up the rest of the house, keeping super quiet and staying well out of the firing line. I've also tried the not worried position "honey, it's fine ... we can go without hot water for the next week, or I'm sure we can use the neighbours toilet (ok, perhaps that's pushing it a little far ... but at least it made me laugh"). It's true, I was warned before things started that I shouldn't say anything, that it'd get "messy". That was before the pipe snapped and tempers got frayed and the the shops were closed and things got a little uncomfortable, and then we almost missed the gym because it all just took longer than expected. There was lots of drilling, sanding and swearing (which I think is as much a right of passage and staple of DIY as condoms are a staple of safe sex ie. indispensible). My love. This DIY is a very big part of our lives today, its all consuming and exhausting ... but dont worry as it will end (eventually). And I'm always here, to love and massage and sooo much more (and of course to make the tea).

Secrets of erotic massage

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Most erotic massage is very subtle. Anything to aggressive is either S&M or you’re not being subtle enough. Giving erotic massage is best first without oil and then with oil. You can begin on the small of the back, just above the butt, either sides of the spine with both hands. A light basic stroke from there upwards towards the neck is good. You can use a variety of objects like a hair brush with stiff prongs, a paint brush or “blusher” brush, a ball lightly rolled over the skin is good – if you have a ball made from stone (crystal) or even a big marble – that can work so sensually.
Another stroke you can use is massaging in small circles. Vary the size of the circles, some small, working towards bigger and bigger circles. With all strokes it’s best to start small and work bigger.

Parts of the body that are erotic are the spine, stomach, inner thighs, soles of feet, palms, ears, behind ears and neck. Always remain contact with the body of the person you’re massaging, but be very light.

Using oil, you can use baby oil, but masseurs tend to favour natural oil from plants such as almond oil, I use olive oil even, and buying it, it’s cheaper and no different in buying oil you use for cooking rather than specialist massage oil which is a waste of money. Though I’d never use sunflower or vegetable oil but like almond, most nut oils, pumpkin seed oil is very interesting and is good for a normal massage though it’s green but is very hydrating.

Apply oil on the small of the back, warming it up in your hands before application. Favour using a generous amount of oil – I’d use a 1/4 of a cup. Will oil applied you need to be fast to distribute it on the body, usually the back. Use the same strokes as before but always be subtle.

I find it great to end with tapping the fingers on the body lightly and this can feel really sensational. Duration of the massage I’ve had best results between 15-30 minutes. Anything less and your partner will be dissatisfied.

Straight or gay sports?

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It's weird because our regular bar is always filled with men (hardly ever any women). Tonight there are three women and about 30 men. Is this cos it's a "sports" bar ... or is there some strange dynamic happening that I don't know or understand? A football team came tonight. Can you imagine! Well built, strong, solid, bulging and that was just the team. Could see and feel the hardness on the clothes, abs showing through T-shirts, Levis stretched with huge pump and potential (for so much more)...

- Posted from iPhone

Exciting things to do with food?

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We eat and drink everyday, but how often do we stop and think about the erotic potential and the hidden symbolism of what we put in our mouths? Of course there's the innuendo that comes when borrowing someones nuts, or the one liners associated with eating a banana at work e.g "enjoying that are you?" (usually accompanied with a chuckle or a wry grin). Even the name of our fridge is somehow erotic: Siemens. But the true potential for fun is far greater than the occassional joke. For me it starts with peanut butter, by far the most orgasmic food on the market (even just to taste on toast, aarghh ... wow). It also spreads well and is a good temperature, which means key body parts don't get distracted by the cold (that comes from ice cream, another favourite erotic food). Chocolate spread is also great as a treat! Those with a healthier mind might explore berries. Strawberries are well known for their erotic potential, dipped and nicely coated in chocolate into your mouth. A blessing to the tongue, ending in a soft biting, chewing. Blueberries and blackberries can be strategically placed on g-spots and fetched from the body by a willing partner. I especially like the thought of that sequence from "Sex and the City" where Samantha covered herself in sushi for her boyfriend. My boyfried likes maple syrup, and there's plenty of exciting things you can do with that (let's start experimenting) ...

- Posted from iPhone

Why do gay men shave below?

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Some men and women find the art of shaving down below both erotic foreplay and an enhancement towards deeper sensual arousal during sex. Shaving the male is done by electric shaver alone or after with a wet shaver. I find the electric shaver to stimulates an immense vibe that after, when having sex, my orgasm is invincible.

Shave around the pubis first, above and either side where the cock meets it is best. Then work on either side of the ball bag and then the perineum – the part between ball bag and butt. For older men with a hairy butt, work inside on one cheek at a time being careful not to injure the butt hole. You can wet shave but be very careful not to cut yourself. This shave will be even more sensitive. I’ve once been wet shaved by someone and never again – if you want to wet shave your pubic hair always do it yourself!

Go without shaving for a week and let the hair grow and it will become itchy down below, but this is a small price to pay for the pleasure it gives.
I like the extra sensation shaving brings to the balls. Giving anal sex feels much closer. Even my balls smacking my boyfriends butt cheeks feels SO different and doing doggy style, my ball bag smacking his is just indescribable.

Why shave below?
It will make you look like a porn star! Most porn stars shave. You’ll have the confidence and impression of a porn star.
Will give you an added variety to foreplay.
It makes your love muscle look longer.
Will give you a deeper, more pleasurable orgasm.
Doing anal it will make you and your partner feel you’re penetrating deeper.
Make you feel hornier more often - especially if you wear lycra!

Cut or uncut cock: that's the question?

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The age-old debate. They both have benefits. There's something about an uncut cock that just looks so erotic, natural and unbelievably horny. Even just seeing one awakes the wildest sensations and thoughts ... that entirely consume me. Admittedly they look better soft or semi-hard, with the skin just starting to peel back. Preferably thick with a bulging head. OMG. Stop. Sucking my boyfriends uncut cock is such a pleasure (every single day ... taking it from soft and sleeping to rock-hard and way beyond ... what a passion). On the other hand. Cut cocks are safer. Apparently an uncut cock is 60% less likely to incubate the HIV virus and also much less likely to carry other STDs. They also smell better and demand less maintance (although the smell of an uncut cock can be super horny). I guess cut cocks are much safer for the "lock-up-and-go", microwave generation that spend less time in the shower? I'm not sure about the sensation. Seems to me that a cut cock would have more sensation ... given that its more "exposed"? Why is it that cut is so popular in the United States, but uncut seems the "standard" in Europe? Are there any preferences for different ethnicities? Please do share your thoughts and preferences ...

Ingredients of a gay relationship: love or lube?

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The single most important item must be communication. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with each other, not being afraid to be honest or vulnerable or to be clear on your expectations. Gay relationships are often stereotyped as promiscuous, sex-oriented or shallow. This is definitely true in some cases, and isn't always a bad thing ... especially when both parties share the same aims (sex). These "relationships" can be lots of fun, and can also grow into stronger more durable commitments. We've all experienced this kind of exciting "affair" ... with the late night booty-calls. My own preference (however) is for relationships of the heart. Where you both believe it will last forever. Where you share a whole life together; physical and emotional. Even now when I kiss my boyfriend (or he kisses me) ... I feel weak at the knees. The softness of his lips against mine makes me tingle from head to toe. When he touches me I feel literally wild with passion ... and the orgasms are way more intense! It's also easier experimenting with new ideas, positions, locations ... because you trust each other to be respectful. Being apart can be unbearable. We always try to remember the small things; that crucial cup of tea in the mornings, kissing each other hello and goodbye, taking turns with cooking etc. This doesn't mean it's all easy, of course we sometimes argue or misunderstand each other. But these times are almost always where we get lost in our own worlds and fail to communicate properly. What's the secret ingredient of your best relationship?

Is watching guys at urinals bad?

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I couldn't help it, catching (more than) a glance of the guy next to me at the urinals. Nice jeans, purposeful confident action, great smell (with a hint of sweat) and underwear and most significantly ... a gorgeous thick, uncut cock and a strong stream. It's not the urine that's interesting, more the thoughts of what we could do together ... of dropping to the floor and sucking him off right there and then! It just seems so natural. I'm sure even the straightest guy wouldn't mind this additional kind of "lip service"? Speaking for myself, I'd definitely find it hard to say no if given the option of a spontaneous blow-job in the bog. "Cruising" the urinals looking for action is definitely not cool. But what if you're there for legitimate reasons and it just happens ... in the gym, in the pub, in the library or perhaps even while at work. This seems perfectly fine to me ... or am I completely missing the point?

What is it about worn-in jeans?

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There's the tight ones that hug your arse (or the arse of that gorgeous guy). There's the baggy ones, that somehow make you obsess about the bulge in front. Then ... there's that rare breed that fits just perfectly ... cups each butt cheek, folds neatly around the thighs, slinks (like an illicit manic lover) into the butt crack (just the horniest thing). And they feel amazing on the body. Best of all are the jeans you "re-discover" after a long absense, perfectly worn-in and aligned with even the movement of your knee and your favourite underwear (that sneak so well above the waistband). They know you better than anyone else ... witnessed the best sex, felt ten thousand erections. Even now, I always leave a few buttons undone. Just in case ...

Is everyone at my gym gay?

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I love going to the gym after sex ... still feeling dirty and horny, with ruffled hair and unshaven. Its like going shopping for food when you're full, because exercising and sweating around so many hot guys just drives me insane. Bulging biceps and veins, tight shorts on the squat machine or free weights ... bulging tracksuit bottoms, tackle moving up and down on the jogger. My heart beats faster and faster. Even being there immediately after sex doesn't stop a million possible fantasies spreading like a virus into every part of my body. Sometimes its embarrassing. Is it just me ... or does everyone get a hard on doing bench-press? Lets not even go there with the changing rooms. I can't bare to imagine all the madness that happens in the showers. My heart is beating out of its skin. Even in perfectly straight gyms, major well know chains ... I've heard of mutual masturbation, blow jobs in the sauna and wa-a-y more. I must persuade my boyfriend to nail me on the bench near the lockers (especially after watching his gorgeous arse on the stepper). Its unbearable but I wish I was there everyday. Perhaps not having sex at the gym is part of the thrill?

Useful links:
Real Jock
Mens Fitness
Mens Health
Gay Beef
Gay Life

Is going commando the next best thing?

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Going commando is awesome! It brings a sense of liberation, a feeling of riske and excitement as well as "quick access" if things get racy with your partner while out-on-the-town. I find commando most exciting in jeans, preferably a softer older pair nicely worn-in. Somehow it doesn't quite feel right in a suit. The best thing about going commando is the sense of secret and knowing what others don't ... that you're "free-balling". Its hugely empowering, arousing and confidence inspiring ... like wearing all black or a power suit or your favourite shirt. Its equally arousing knowing the nice surprise awaiting your boyfriend when he quietly slips his hand in your trousers, at the supermarket or in the local pub. Admittedly, going commando does require good hygiene. But this is a small price to pay for the thrill of touch as your jeans caress you ... in every step and movement (your own secret tryst). We should all go commando at least once a week. Its natural. Its safe. Just do it!

Useful links
Going Commando
Ten Reasons To Go Commando
Wikipedia
Do Commandos Go Commando?

Have you thought about experimenting with S&M?

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S&M is a sub-group of the three groups of BDSM: Bondage & Discipline, Dominance and Submission and Sadism and Masochism. S&M is a wide and varied activity alone that can be from mild gentle smacking to extreme whipping until bleeding. It is generally considered as “role-playing” sex and is more of a fantasy element to act out and can be low in STD transmission because it often doesn’t always involve sexual intercourse. It’s about mutual consent where all parties are respected; anything beyond this is abuse and assault on an individual. S&M is about both physical and emotional pain and pleasure. Safe words are suggested before hand to signal to stop if the play is getting out of hand. Any safe code word is good, like a specific color "green", an object "car", anything out of context will work and serve you well.

Role playing scenarios include: Pony and rider, Student and Teacher, Child and Adult, Master Slave, Doctor/Nurse and Patient and many more. The act of discipline involves spanking either by a paddle, whip, cane or belt and is known as Corporal Punishment (CP). It’s best to experience this first on the butt and it’s less painful to start there. Spank heavily: on the Butt, upper back on each side of the spine, thighs, lower shoulders. Spank lightly: on lower legs, arms, inner arms, breasts, genitals, upper shoulders, top of buttocks near spine, the muscular ridge on both sides of the spine, the ribs where not protected by muscle. Spank with great care: on palms and back of the hands, over any joint, lower front and back and sides between the top of the pelvis and the lower ribs (kidneys and other internal organs), the spine, the tops and bottoms of the feet.

A usual scenario involves verbal interaction with the physical pain. Such dialogue could be:
“You have been a very bad boy.”
“I’m going to teach you a lesson and won’t stop until you’ve learned.”
“Beat me, daddy.” Etc..

This can add so much more eroticism to the act. Spanking is very rhythmic and spontaneous and takes some time to get into the groove. One stroke every few seconds is the most sensual. Skill in accurately landing your spanking instrument in the place you meant it takes time, but once mastered it will serve you well.

Bondage is usually used with CP. It’s best to start just tying one hand, maybe two loosely so that the person being captive has a chance of escape. S&M is a practice that takes time to get used to and fully understand if you really like or dislike it. You never know, you might be missing something. There’s much more to S&M, BDSM and bondage that will feature in future posts.

Useful links:
Safer SM Pamphlet
S/M role-playing
Fetish Alliance
A Slaves Heart
Grim's Guide to Flogging

Can you prepare yourself for group sex?

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Group sex involves three or more participants. If more than four members engage in sex and it becomes an orgy, then sex choices such as what you do become blurred through peer pressure. Always remember to assert your right not to take part in activities that make you feel uncomfortable.

Group sex can take many forms. A classic example is where no one knows each other … usually at a sex party or cruising area etc. It can also come from a partnership where two of the participants know each other intimately and the other participant(s) are less known. There are also engagements where all parties know each other intimately, or very rarely where all parties know each other equally. These combinations heavily test relationship trust and strength. Group sex is likely to have the least emotional harm on individuals where all parties are unknown and fully understand the consequences of their actions. Most people don’t. Group sex also carries it’s own health risks, primarily an increased chance of transmitting STDs. Participants should ensure extra condoms are available to decrease this risk. Other risks include drug taking, either mild drugs like “poppers” amyl nitrite or alcohol or heavier drugs like cocaine. Taking drugs makes individuals less responsible to themselves and others, and even more susceptible to risk.

Threesomes are most successful when there are two actives and one bottom. Two or three bottoms could lead to a “milder” less active engagement. This is fine in some situations, particularly those where “straight” men engage in a circle jerk or mutual masturbation … which strangely somehow further boosts their assertion of male masculinity. The situation with two actives and one bottom allows for two very clear and singular personalities: both actives taking turns to pleasure the bottom or even trying double penetration (which will need practice and building up to but can be extremely pleasurable). Light S&M whipping and smacking the bottom by the inactive top (often whilst receiving oral sex) can give greater awareness and sensations all-round.

Foursomes can involve one couple and two lesser-known participants, two couples or all unknown participants. The last two groupings are more favourable from an emotional p.o.v because there’s less tension and less likelihood of individuals feeling inadequate or jealous. These groups usually start as two parings engaging in separate sex alongside each other … progressing to all four engaged with each other. Be aware to have plenty on condoms and lube available. An enjoyable but soft version of group sex is the daisy chain where the group forms a circle and performs oral on one person while another performs oral on him and this forms a closed chain. An all-anal intercourse form is the train fuck where all people make a line and penetrate the person in front. The person at the front is being stimulated by the anus only, the two behind by anal and penis stimulation and the last by penis stimulation only. This form while quite a fantasy is in reality only successfully seen in porn films – the motions of bodies are often too great for this position to last long. Foursomes are far more effective when there’s three actively engaging in a combination of anal and oral sex and a fourth participant being quite passive, caressing sensitive areas, sometimes engaging in oral sex. The participants should change positions as it will be more enjoyable for all, though must be aware to use and change condoms regularly to reduce likelihood of cross-contamination. The art of bukkake, ejaculating on another’s face (usually the most passive member) is common in porn films, but much less likely to happen in real group sex.

Group sex is a high risk activity both for spreading STDs and for testing emotions as well as the strength of relationships. It can be enjoyed immensely but needs consideration.

Useful links:
Anal Sex Positions and Tips
Princess Polly's Sex Tips for Swingers 
Group Sex 
Group sex: One reader’s first time getting it on orgy-style 
Couples Guide to Group Sex

Are you giving good head?

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Can you prepare yourself for anal sex?

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Anal sex is increasingly popular amongst both heterosexual and gay individuals. It eliminates the risk of unwanted pregnancy and also yields more tactile pleasure for the penis; due to the anus being tighter than the vagina. How to prepare for your first anal sex experience? Unless you're an exception, your first experience will almost certainly be painful. The best ways of reducing pain are to (a) use lots of anti-bacterial lubricant and (b) start slow. Starting slow means letting your partner gradually "sensitize" the anus by initially inserting one and then two fingers etc. Eventual insertion of the penis should also be done slowly and at the pace of the "receiver". Anal sex requires trust in your partner to stop if uncomfortable. The penis should ideally be inserted in-line with the body and not at an angle. "Doggy style" and "receiver-on-top" are good starting positions. "Receiver-on-top" also allows for better control of the pace of insertion. Individuals preparing for anal sex might experiment with enemas, which further prepare the body for anal insertion and also help with cleaning of the anus (good before and after hygiene is key in anal sex). Butt plugs, dildo's and vibrators are additional anal sex toys for both beginners and more advanced practitioners. Anal sex should always be done with a condom, due to the higher likelihood of blood-blood and thus STD transfer. Condoms are also more likely to break during anal sex, which makes "slow" and "careful" two of the most important words. Anal sex can be truly amazing if done in the spirit of trust, self awareness and with a respectful partner. Being relaxed and comfortable will definitely improve anal sex experiences. If you're in doubt about any of these things ... just say "no".

Useful links:
Anal Sex "Yes"

Centre for Disease Control

Cock Locker

National Health Service

NetDoctor

What makes an amazing orgasm?

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I recently had the most amazing orgasm. We've all had good or even great orgasms that come from deep inside and that leave you breathless and thinking "whew, wow ...". This was different. It felt like my whole body was literally melting and exploding at the same time. As it was building, a tingling sensation emerged and spread throughout my spine and into my head. Every thought was consumed in passion. The orgasm (or orgasms) itself altered my entire worldview on sex, consciousness and time. It 100% included ejaculatory-orgasm, but was even more powerful in the anus and also present in the entire mid-section, heart, neck, arms and legs. Literally felt like slipping into a parallel universe, losing track of time and space.  This kind of "full body orgasm" is seriously ay-may-ziiiing and very highly recommended. Having said that, it might also be a little unfair to expect this of yourself or your partner all the time ...

Useful links:
National Health Service
NetDoctor
Orgasm Problems
How to Have a Full Body Orgasm
Sex Coaching

Am I a sex addict or do I just have a high sex drive?

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Are you a sex addict if you spend most of your day in sexual thoughts? This would likely describe most of the teen and adult world. Sexual addiction is where individuals are unable to manage their sexual behaviour or where sexual activity feels out of control. This means going beyond "thoughts" about sex to actually engaging in sexual behaviour. Some compare sexual addiction to substance addictions e.g. alcoholism or drug addiction. Chemicals released by the brain during sex (norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, nitric oxide and prolactin) make us feel good and can be addictive. Others liken sexual addiction to obsessive-compulsive disorders. Sexual addiction can be destructive, expensive and even dangerous when leading to unsafe sexual practices. Its unlikely you're a sex addict if you browse illicit websites once or twice a week or even engage in sexual practices in a healthy relationship as much as once or twice a day. If you're worried your actions are out of control. The links below provide useful information on the warning signs of sexual addiction as well as on sex and relationship therapists.

Useful links:
BBC "relationships"
British Association for Sexual and Relationship Therapy
MedicineNet
Sex Addicts Anonymous
SexHelp
Sexual Addiction
Sexual Control
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
Sexaholics Anonymous
Wikipedia